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Heather and I had the privilege of eating at a wonderful restaurant in Atlanta, Georgia. I looked down at their coaster and started laughing at what was written on it. As I was laughing, I began to think about the implications of this statement on marriage. 

How many times in a marriage does one spouse have the opportunity to be painfully honest? People may call it "speaking their mind" or refer to it as "brutal honesty." Some people wear this as a badge of honor, saying whatever truth they have with the world with little care of the consequences.

In a marriage, there will be times when we have to address issues. Our spouse may be falling into a bad habit, ask our opinion, or be heading towards a potential pitfall that we can help avoid. A healthy marriage requires both spouses to be free to communicate honestly with each other. When this communication breaks down, unresolved issues will begin to break down the marriage.

There is an opposite side to this coin. When we have to address an issue with our spouse, we cannot forget the love that binds our marriage together. When we speak the truth without love, it comes across as mean and hurtful. We can damage our spouse by adopting a brutally honest approach that leaves little regard for the other person's feelings. 

The best way to handle conversations where we have to address issues is to pray about the situation first. Taking the issue to God means that we invite Him into the situation and allow Him to help guide our words. More than anyone, God knows how we can word things correctly to bring about the desired results without bruising our spouse. 

If this has been you in the past, where your words can land like a punch to the gut - seriously consider spending time in prayer before tackling sensitive topics. Before speaking, ask yourself if your opinion is wanted, needed, or will benefit your spouse. Many times the best thing to say is actually nothing at all.