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There is an great book by Gary Chapman titled "The Five Love Languages" that does an incredible job of explainig how each individual wants to express and receive love in a way that is unique to them. If you have never read it, I strongly encourage you to do so! 

This book is great for couples because many of the conflicts in marriage are due to the differences between spouses and how they are uniquely made. We can spend a lot of time and effort in the wrong direction and fall short of meeting our spouse's needs. This can lead to frustration and anger in a marriage.

This book also applies to our children. Just as we want to meaningfully express love to our spouse, we should desire to do the same thing to our children. Unfortunately, we tend to project our own needs, likes and desires onto our children, especially when they are young.

I am a huge baseball fan and one of my favorite players growing up was Nolan Ryan. When we had our first son, I was thrilled that my wife loved the name Nolan. As soon as my son was born, there was baseball stuff in his room and I was excited to be raising the next Hall of Fame pitcher.

When he was 5, we put Nolan in teeball, and I was eager to begin his training. Around 2 games into the season we realized that this was NOT Nolan's future. He couldn't have cared less about playing teeball. Instead, if you gave the kid some paper and art supplies, he would spend hours and hours drawing. He loved art and still does to this day. Now, he is pursuing a career that aligns with the giftings that God gave him.

I could have projected myself onto my son and forced him to be in my image, but Nolan wasn't made in my image. He was made in God's image and God made him wonderful. Psalms 139:14 says

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well."

Our children's uniquenss should be celebrated and understood. As a parent, I want to undestand how to meaningful show my children that I love them, not force them to mold to my methods. As a parent, you may have the love language of gifts. You love to receive gifts and love to give gifts. At the same time, you may have been given a child whose love language is quality time. They would rather not have the gift and instead want to spend an evening playing board games.

Take the time to learn how God made your child and how to meet their unique needs. When you do, it will make your parenting much easier and your relationship with your child much deeper.