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Most of us have pet peeves or things that annoy the fire out of us. Unfortunately, most of us also have a spouse that happens to do those very things that trigger that pet peeve. For us, I have a terrible habit of leaving cabinet doors open throughout the house. Doing this annoys my wife greatly!!! 

Marriage seems to provide endless opportunities to get annoyed, frustrated, or hurt our feelings. The reality is, as flawed as our spouse is, we are just as guilty. We do things that annoy our spouse. We trigger their pet peeves and hurt their feelings.

To have peace and stability in our marriage, we have to learn what grace means. Grace is giving someone something that they cannot earn. We have to give our spouse grace to be who they are and not let the love we have towards them be determined by their actions at the moment. Grace means we show them love when they trigger our pet peeves. Grace is forgiving them when they do something to hurt our feelings.

Extended grace to our spouse frees our marriage from being trapped in perpetual conflict. We do not fight every battle and instead focus on the good things in our spouse. This does not make our spouse fix all their annoyances, but we begin to understand that those annoyances are microscopic issues in the grand scheme of life.