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If anyone has had to quarantine with their spouse, it quickly becomes apparent that these are not the most romantic of times. One would think that being forced to be home with your family would be a dream come true. While there are some fun memories, the together can also lead to tension.

For our family, 2020 and 2021 brought A LOT of family time. Last March had a “Safe At Home” order that shut down our area for almost two months. With six kids, there were 2 other times throughout the year where our family was quarantined due to exposure to Covid-19 or one of us actually being sick. 2021 didn’t start off too much different. Due to a record winter storm, we have been snowed in for 7 out of the last 9 days.

Honestly, there are some aspects of being stuck at home with my family that I love. I work really well with Heather and we have some amazing kids who make sure that life is not boring. There are certainly worst things in life than being forced to be home with the family that God has blessed me with.

The problem that most families and marriages experienced over the last year is that while families can function very well together, each of us needs our time apart as well. In fact, one of the best gifts you can give your spouse is time away from you and the family. 

For our family, from the moment that Heather wakes up until she falls asleep, someone wants something from her. This problem is not confined to just a pandemic and being at home. When she is at church, she is the Children’s Director of a thriving Kid’s Ministry. When she is working, overseeing everything she does means people need things from her as well.

As her husband, I realized that in order to help Heather stay whole she had to have time away from me and the kids. She needed time to experience quiet, where no one wanted anything from her. For Heather, this is a magical place called the Nail Salon.

As a husband and father, I am not different. During quarantine times, I found myself spending more time outside with my Air Pods in. I needed to just have a few moments to just be, without anyone wanting something from me. I spent hours and hours cutting wood and burning fires in our fire pit because it was incredibly peaceful and refreshing. 

These times of aloneness are refreshing emotionally, mentally but also spiritually. When we get time to ourselves, we have an easier time getting quiet and allowing God to speak to us.

For some, there is an initial guilty thought of taking time to yourself. It may seem selfish, but the opposite is true. Taking time to yourself makes you a better wife, husband, or parent.