Overcoming Financial Differences
Did you know that couples who argue about finances at least once a week are 30 times more likely to get divorced? THIRTY TIMES! Did you also know that the chance of divorce increases 45% when one spouse thinks the other spouse spends money recklessly?
Unfortunately, the subject of finances to some couples is the pink elephant in the room that no one really likes to talk about. They would much rather talk about physical intimacy, pursuing each other or maybe even scheduling a root canal at the dentist... The reality that we need to face is that a breakdown in communication and understanding on finances can be fatal to a marriage. It cannot be ignored.
There is no part of a marriage than can thrive without honest and loving communication. This is especially true when it comes to marital finances! The problem is compounded in many relationships because we so often marry someone who is very opposite of us in many ways. Marriages are full of couples who view and treat money very differently.
You may be a free spender who grew up in a home that never focused on savings. On the flip side, you could be the saver who analyzes every purchase carefully and has a rainy-day fund sitting in the bank. What may sound crazy is that these very opposite people actually make a great team.
God brings opposites together to balance each other out and create a powerful team that is capable of accomplishing great things together. The free spender and the saver can work together to have a beautiful marriage with perfect harmony in their finances. This very same couple can end up bitter, frustrated and on the brink of divorce because they simply cannot overcome their differences. It comes down to how they embrace their different perspectives.
The most important to thing to realize is that you and your spouse are a team. You should be working together on every aspect of your marriage, especially your finances. For Heather and I, we view our finances as our money and have complete trust with each other and how we spend money. This came because we laid a foundation early on that we would communicate often about money and never hide anything from each other.
If this is an area where you struggle or are working to build trust in your marriage around finances, here are some simple tips to help guide you.
- Have a preset agreement on how much each of you can spend without have consulting each first.
- Never hide a purchase from your spouse.
- Never hide how much you spent on a purchase.
- Never buy something unless you are in complete agreement about the purchase.
I want to encourage you to make this week a new week in your marriage. Finances may have been a trigger point for some of your most heated fights. It doesn’t have to be that way. Be willing to sit down and have that honest and love filled conversation on how to manage your finances together. Set guidelines in places that give you guidance and stick to them. Determine that finances will not defeat your marriage!