It seems like human nature tends to always look for the next best thing. As a society, we tend to trade in cars every few years to make sure we get the latest model. How many people rush to get the newest iPhone that is released, even if their current phone is in great condition. As a whole, we are not very content people. The push to always have the latest and greatest allows for little time to stop and appreciate what we do have.
Left unchecked, this societal trend will invade our marriages. Over time, especially when life takes us down the unplanned rocky roads, we can allow discontentment to slowly erode away at our marriage. The seeds of affairs are started by one spouse looking to someone else to fill a void that they perceive is not being filled in their marriage.
When someone starts becoming discontent with how their spouse is meeting their needs, they begin window shopping for the next best thing. It may just be a fantasy, wondering what it would be like to be married to the attractive coworker. Or maybe it’s escaping into the romcom world, wishing their marriage was full of the same magic of a Hollywood movie. The crazy thing about seeds is they love to grow. Seeds of discontentment are the same. We plant them in our fantasies, water them with our thoughts and then eventually act them out.
There is another powerful seed in our marriage that is as healing as discontentment is destructive. Thankfulness. Thankfulness is an attitude of the heart, where you continually recognize how blessed you are. When we plant seeds of thankfulness in our marriage, we reap a harvest of love, gratitude, grace, mercy and patience.
Thankfulness isn’t blind to issues or burying our heads in the sand to problems in the marriage. Instead, a thankful heart never loses the joy of sharing their life with their spouse. It allows us to keep moving forward in the rocky times. Keeping our eyes focused on the positive and not allowing ourselves to become discontent.
I realize this isn't always as easy as it is written but those are the times we turn to our heavenly father and His grace fills in the gaps that we need filled. His grace covers on our behalf. When we struggle to focus on thankfulness, we can stop and talk to Him and he will help courses correct our hearts to where they need to be.
If we are trying to do this on our own we will likely never succeed, but when we add God to the center, He can do so much more in our families when we invite Him in. I don't know what seeds you have been planting and allowing to grow in your marriage and family but it is never too late to pull up the ones that need taken out. Start fresh if need be and water the seeds of thankfulness for your spouse and watch God do amazing things in your marriage.